Hey all

I've blog hopped over to moblog. Mainly because I can finally post up some pics there.  Here's the blog url

http://www.moblog.com.sg/blog/timeofmylife

What makes a blog interesting? Of course, I wouldn't say that mine is... honestly..

I'm a lousy blogger. Period.

I don't know, maybe it's just that I'm too lazy or that I feel as though my life isn't SOOO exciting that I could write a whole entry about it every other day. But I was thinking, what with the whole blogging phenomenom of late and 'celebrity' bloggers getting print space and T-shirt endorsement or what not.. What is it that makes one able to single out a particular blog from the gazillions out there?

Well, I think that blogs can be grouped into a few categories. One is the blog that gets popular by association, for example a blog of someone who has a wide network of friends OR who is pretty/goodlooking/popular in school such that the secret worshippers keep going back to their sites to feed the fires of their secret crushes. One thing that irritates me about these kind of blogs though is the blogger's tendency to post numerous pictures of themselves, obviously deluded by their attractiveness. Beware of the huge EGO in these blogs I say. Now, if you were as gorgeous as Denise Keller( i was reading her and the contestants blogs after eye for a guy tonight. Never thought that the show could be this good after the first installment) I guess it would really be eye candy for all the gawking eyes out there. But GaWd, especially with those moblogs out there..Some of them are just peppered with pics of a girl, posing for her phone cam, complete with the caption 'this is me. at the airport. hee'. And THAT apparently counts for an entry.

Now, on the other hand, there's the genuinely interesting ( in my humble opinion) kind of blog that may not be that popular but the entries are just somehow meaningful, engaging and oh did i mention how I love blogs that gives you a glimpse of life in another land? Yup, I just love being an armchair traveller, seeing as how my bank account won't currently allow me to travel AT ALL. Yet others are funny with their honesty, and some just allows you to expand your perspective on life. One blog I really did like was TheGuyOverThere, even though I only knew about it after watching EFAG, I'm glad I found this gem.. or rather these gems cos Denise's one is really good too, so are a few of the other guys. This really has changed my opinion of blogging, thank God for non-ego boosting entries!

You.

You're the one i miss most when i feel down or lonely. Even when it ended the last time, I still grasped at straws to remain connected to you.. even if it was only through your blog.

How many times did I pick up the phone wanting to call you? Countless.. but I knew that it would be crazy because the feelings had changed and that you had found another. I looked at the photos, the entries wishing i was by your side sharing your laughter and frowns. But I didn't dare call because that's just me.. quiet. So to fill the void in me, i went out and tried to find a replacement. But only got hurt instead, because no one could even come close.

Even as I'm writing this. I know that the person I'm writing for is you, yes, even the entries about other stuff.. all the way back to the entries about the countries I visited. I remember very distinctly the setting of my entry about Auckland. It was my first flight alone and I was thinking of you in that cold dark computer room in the hotel. I was miserable, but always, always, whenever I logged on to a computer overseas, the very first page I would visit was your blog. Call me silly or stupid love, but whenever I get a comment from you, my heart jumps. I love the sweet notes and msgs and letters. You know, I was packing my room yesterday night and I took out the letters you wrote me right from the start of our first relationship. And the memories( good ones) came flooding back. I'm a simple girl, just opening my heart to you, asking you to love me. I don't need an ipod mini or anything grand from you, because all I want is you.

Just a comment, a love letter or a simple msg makes my day...

Yes, this entry may not make much sense but i guess it's just like me. I'm not without fault and senseless sometimes.. or most of the time, I know I'm hard to love. But believe me, all I've ever wanted is to make it with you.

It's been a while since I last wrote so I thought I'd post an entry now that I'm sitting around with nothing to do on a Thurs nite. I feel as though time seems to pass so quickly. For instance, just last thursday at this time of the night( 2.15am) I was just starting my mini-'vacation' with Kenn. My parents and Nick had just gone off to Sydney for their holiday, which effectively meant that we had the WHOLE house to ourselves!

What fun those few days were. We had a yummy-lickin-good barbeque on the second night, I'm starting to drool just thinking of the curried bbq chicken, smoked cheese sausage penne, garlic-butter roasted potatoes and garlic bread that we had that night..Yum Yum. And not forgetting those late nights where Kenn and I would drive out to Changi Village for Nasi Lemak. You see, we suddenly got into a craze for nasi lemak, and funnily enough, everytime we went there we tried a different stall's. In all I think we tried 3 different kinds of Changi Village's Nasi lemak...late night supper watching comedies( Frasier! the NBA episode was hilarious!)..I think it gave me a taste of what living together would be like and I'm itching to move out already. I miss miss miss it all, especially the feeling of getting up in the middle of the night and seeing you playing CM, reading a book or sleeping soundly. I just felt safe, cos I've always had this phobia( when I was a kid) and now dislike-of sleeping alone. I know I'm chicken, don't even think of asking me to sleep alone in the dark. In fact, I've gotten so used to sleeping together that I couldn't fall aslep yesterday night cos I really really missed having him next to me. Maybe I should get a TV in my room to acompany me, I think I've gotten used to sleeping with one after all the hotel stays I had while I was still flying..at least then I won't feel so lonely.

I wish we had the money to rent a place now...then Pepper too won't have to be shuffled about, and have lots of room to run around( he likes exercising, which he does by running around in circles in my room)...and he'll be able to live with his mummy and daddy, not just one side at a time.

Who would've thought that not only getting into the airline, but LEAVING it would be so difficult and time consuming? I've just spent that past few days driving from one ulu place to another..Thank GOD I drive though because believe me, its no joke the amount of stuff I had to return, the worst were the manuals cos they were so damn heavy. Although I'm kinda pissed at myself for not keeping a set of the uniform as a keepsake, just cos I was afraid they might take count of every single item at the uniform store and HELL I didn't want to drive back there in the rain! Turns out, the uncle just told me to dump everything in a box, didn't bother counting a single thing before signing the clearance form..Sigh, it would've been nice to take it out years down the road and look at the uniform that's fitted to my body.( and probably marvel at how slim i was before! Haha) True, i may hate the job but I've always loved the uniform, it's something you can never get elsewhere except from the airline itself. And, shallow as this may sound, the uniform was one of the main reasons why I wanted to give the job a shot cos there's still a certain prestige in donning it somehow.

Yup, even though some may say or notice, anyone, ugly or fat can get in nowadays. Grin, even the admin staff at the airport whom I got clearance form said so. Quote her words, ' Aiyoh another pretty and young girl quitting ( cos u see there was another girl getting clearance at the same time as me, and she wasn't ugly and fat as some of them are). Nowadays ah, only left the old and not so pretty ones'. Well, its my sister's and my theory that its the old sods in there who wanna make your life miserable so that you'll quit in due time, leaving them to get the golden handshake. Hey CuPPleLefty, I know this is a really late reply to your note but I'd really ask you to think twice about joining the airline. I was just like you, I really REALLY wanted the job so badly. Why? Isn't it funny..because of the fact that it's so hard to get through, especially on the first try. I remember I almost didn't make it ( and this is the first time I'm admitting this to anybody) , during the uniform try-on round. This is the point where they'll scrutinise everything including your complexion, dark eye circles, oil seeds on your eye( one girl didn't make it cos of that!!), down to your walk and how good you look in the uniform. I got called back for a 2nd look along with a few others the panel couldn't decide on cos of my walk I think. Haha think I was too anxious so I started walking like a model when what they wanted was just a normal gait. I was really anxious during the results stage, I knew I would've been really dejected if I didn't make it then.

Well, yes I know there're perks to the job.. the prestige, the money and most definitely getting to travel. But I'd say don't be misled about certain things. Firstly, to most people who've never been crew, it seems like you're like this glamourous jetsetter, flying to paris one week and New york the next. However, it's really more like flying to the place, knocking out for a day, shop and eat for a few hours and you're off on the flight back. Cos don't forget, it's different from a holiday, you're actually working for 15 hours before you get to paris, so when you're actually there, you're so tired that your legs seem like they're jelly.

And the other most important point is whether your skin is thick enough to take scolding on almost every other flight you do. For me, it's not that they pick on you cos they don't like you or cos you did something wrong, but rather cos they're more SENIOR than you. You've gotta eat humble pie and that 'SENIOR' word? I've come to hate it cos its damn irritating when people use that just to humble you for nothing!! Let me relate this incident to you and if you think you can take this sort of shit, then perhaps this job's for you.. This was during my SNY flight( or what they call 'introductory' flight during training), I was attached to a mentor stewardess cos I didn't have to carry out duties then. This is a flight for you to get tio know the work flow on board. So, she asked me to go check the toilets if they're clean. I did that and this was during the meal service, meaning after I checked the loos a lot of people would use it, i.e. the toilet is definitely going to be dirty right. Turns out my mentor checked it after the meal service, and promptly called me over to the toilet and shouted at me, saying that I'm not taking my job seriously etc etc. All this within hearing range of the passengers sitting and standing nearby. It seems funny to me now but then I was so pissed at the nerve of that woman.

So you see dear girl, this is what everyone goes through in the airline. I just want anybody who's thinking of joining to go in with their eyes wide open, because it's only after you've experienced it that you know  the job's not what it seems to be on the face of it.

Hey everyone.. here's a picture of Pepper ( our salt and pepper mini Schnauz) and myself taken at Kenn's room yesterday night. I know the picture's a little blurry but to get it to appear at this size I think the resolution has to give. Darn it.. I was trying to post one that looks clearer but it ended up being HUGE.. I'm not THAT egoistic yet.

Hahaha.. I've just realised that Pepper actually looks kinda unhappy in the photo. There's a downward tilt to his mouth..contrary to Kenn's observation of other Schnauzer pics where he says all of them have their pinky tongues sticking out. I guess Pepper doesn't like taking photos or rather ( and more likely) he's unhappy at being held still like that. Which is our new method of punishing him, cos this dog has worms in his ass man.

He just can't keep still. It's driving me nuts especially when he's in my room, like now, and he tries to play catching with my toes whenever I walk. Arrgh...

Now... If Pepper could talk or write rather, I'd betcha he'd be screaming in indignation, 'eh MANA you?!'..Grin. Just like his mummy.

This past week could well have been the best days of my year thus far. I've been on leave so at least Ive had a break from the crazy schedule I'm still trying to get used to. I wonder how anybody can get used to it though. I'm not gonna say that it's been utter bliss so far... but after 'flying' non-stop for 7 months its just great not having to wake up at odd hours of the day to put on the unform and slap on that blue eye shadow and scary red lippy. I have always said and still maintain that only those who've been through this experience will understand the relief and almost utter joy at not having to sleep at night counting down to the reporting time of the next flight. Although now at the past halfway point of my leave, I'm torn between making full use of my time, going out to do all the things I know I won't have the energy to do once its over, like clubbing, spending the whole night watching Jap dramas(Pride!) or just being able to hang out with Kenn and Pepper without the dread of having to fly off in a few hours hanging over me.

As I'm writing this, Pepper is sleeping on the rug outside my toilet. I think he's starting to understand when it's time to play and when I'm just doing my own stuff and he'll oh so adorably look at me in his quizzical expression, and then go off to play or rather, chew one of his new toys around my room. Although we can't seem to toilet train properly as yet. For eg, he just peed on one of my rugs again and I spent about 15 minutes trying to teach him that doing his business on the newspaper is the right spot! This involved me carrying him to the Wrong place to pee at-my rug, fiercely saying no and a kinda-light smack on the bum.. and then moving him to the papers laid on the floor and trying to get him to pee there. I think he got a bit frightened at my tone, which he knows means he's done something wrong, but his eyes still had that quizzical look. I gave up after that cos it just broke my heart to see that expression, sigh think it's gonna be a while yet before he get the toilet training right. Really love that naughty little ball of fur so much even if he may be so naughty sometimes. I know of some who can't get how much you can love a dog or any other animal for that matter, but I think the kind of love that a dog can give you is so different from what a human can. Cos it comes without criticism and that look of pure joy and adoration in their eyes whenever you see him is well, something you probably won't ever get with a person. Ive taken quite a few pictures of Pepper which I will post once i find my camera..careless me again. Then you'll know exactly what I've been going on about...

Of course the happy family wouldn't exist without the LOML. I guess the highlight of my holiday has been the short break to Bintan. Make it short but hellava expensive one, to anyone out there considering going to the 'nearby' island for a spa getaway, I think your money's really better spent on a holiday to Phuket or Bangkok or even KL. Not that Bintan isn't nice, we stayed at the Angsana btw, step sister to Banyan Tree, just that the catch-all is that everything is priced in US$. Which when converted to Sing is equivalent to a hellava lot of money. But that's just me, spur of the moment and impulsive, but it really was such a great getaway. I just want to make the LOML happy you know? Hon, thanks for taking all my crap at spending and complaining, mood swings and all. I love my little threesome so much, I hope it won't ever have a sad ending.

Right, I'm off to find my cam now so that I can post some pics up here. This blog's a tad too wordy i know.. But it will change..soon..now where's that darn cam..

I could start with the line from my previous entry, except for the fact that it's 4am already New Zealand time and not 3am as before. Okay...now I know the cries of lame are resounding in your head right now but hey, there's not gonna be deep insights from someone who's just spent 10 hours working on a plane and who can't sleep right now cos of jet lag. Where i was confused about the intricacies of relationships, now i'm just disorientated because i look at the clocks around me and they say 4am but my handphone in S'pore time says 12am. So yeah, i don't know whether to sleep or try logging on to msn in the computer at the hotel's crew lounge so that i can chat with my friends back home.

I think I've sunk to a new low.

Anyway, at the mention of a crew lounge at this hour of the morning, I'm sure the thought that pops up in your head is the image of a host of beautiful people (well some not so without the war paint), hamming it up with booze. Well, the truth is that it's really just a room equipped with an ancient desktop (that doesn't allow you to install anything!!), a microwave and coffee and tea facilities. They vary from city to city, some are much nicer like the one in Perth that had an espresso machine much to my delight cos it means endless cups of free coffee and good cuppas they were man. It's kinda interesting actually, sitting here and observing the crew members that come in. Obviously, my predicament is a common one..most of them come in to use the microwave to heat up the middle of the night munchies, or the computer to kill the boredom, now Those are the ones that'll give me the hidden evil eye when they see me warm at the computer's seat, i say 'hidden' because we're so well trained to be cordial to one another that the real emotions never come up. Not that I'm complaining

Auckland is so cold right now, I went out for a coffee and some dinner in the evening and I came back into the hotel room with a red nose and the sniffles already. It must be below 10 degrees outside cos they're just coming out of winter. There's nothing much to do here..actually, to be honest, most of the places I've been to kinda blur into one another. Do you know the scene in View from the Top, where gwyneth paltrow keeps repeating the action of her waking up and drawing the curtains of the hotel rooms she stays in? That is how it is, most of the time, all that we get to see is the view of the city outside our hotel rooms because we've so little time at each place that the most we get to explore is the area around the hotel. Sometimes nowadays, when i wake up, I've to pause and think exactly where I am. Being alone is enjoyable at first, there's no need to accomodate anyone and I can just do my own stuff, the loneliness sets in in the wee hours of the morning. That's when you wish you had someone familiar to hug or talk to, and not have your wishes hampered by expensive idd phone calls. For now, I'll just have to settle for smses and hope that this darn computer will allow me to install msn's messenger!

It's nearly 3am, I've just got back from watching Wicker Park. Now usually, it being so late, I'd hit the sack the moment I step into my room. But I just keep thinking about the show. Honestly, after watching it, I have come to the conclusion that no one should ever heed the advice of movie reviewers. Cos I wasn't that keen on watching this after the 'barely passable' ratings it garnered, but I'm so glad I was persuaded in the end. To whoever is reading this right now, you just Have to catch this show. I loved how it isn't your typical love story, the structure of the plot is incredibly engaging...Honestly for those reviewers who found it complicated and too hard to follow, have been watching too many shows that lay out the plot chronologically or maybe they're just too critical.

It's engaging because it'll definitely strike a chord with anyone who's really been in love before. I say Really been in love because I think the word love is thrown about so callously these days, you'd have to distinguish the great loves from the mediocre, ho-hum or short-lived loves. Speaking of this, I'm smiling as Bobbie's theory that any guy who says 'I love you' within three dates is plain lying, pops up in my head. Yeah, I think that's true, probably its infatuation or the he just wants a quick path into the girl's pants. Anyway, so now, after watching the movie, I can't help but think if there's really only one true love for a person. The one that just pops up in your mind whenever you catch a love story, or see a couple sharing a sweet moment of intimacy. We all know that some loves, no matter how intense they were, end at some point for whatever reason. Sometimes love just ain't enough..so the song goes. Do you ever sit and think about all your past loves, the failed relationships and consider what might have been and perhaps whether it's possible that one of them might really be the one true love in your life? Maybe we're just too preoccupied with moving forward, hunting for a new catch amongst all the fishes in the sea, so they say...so I wonder, has the one already come by and slipped away? Would it be feasible to disregard your pride and all the barriers between you and that past love, and return to the person whom you loved more than anyone else? There's no easy answer I feel, unlike the ending, things are not so simple in reality or perhaps I'm just confused.